First Hogsmeade Weekend (Lily)

[James Potter]

He'd written to his mother, at least. She had written back (tear stains and all) that they wanted to question him. Him! Ha! James had definitely killed his father. Yep. That was rich. He yawned, sick of it all, wishing everything would just go away. Today was Sunday, and ever since yesterday he'd been holding a certain facade. Sure he loved the attention, but he longed for his usual attention. And he couldn't shake the gnawing feeling that some how it was all his fault. James checked himself out in a long mirror inside one of the shoppes. He looked good, at least. He ran a hand through his unruly hair and sighed. Hogsmeade seemed to be lacking its usual chipper. That, or there was just a major lack in people.

Everyone was scared about the war and what not. James wasn't. His mother was going to stay with her parents after the entire funeral was sorted out. There wouldn't be a viewing; they wouldn't let anyone see the body. He guessed it was about evidence and what not, but he hated thinking that his father's body was evidence. It wasn't. And he hated thinking about the cold flesh that would soon be buried beneath the ground. His mother had written that the funeral was set for next Sunday, and all his friends were welcome to come. Of course Pads, Moony, and Wormtail would come. They'd be there for him, but there was someone else that he wanted to bring, too. He shook that thought from the back of his mind.

The Three Broomsticks fell quiet when he entered the room, as most places now-a-days had. After ordering himself a butterbeer, he fished a galleon out of his pocket and was going through his pockets trying to find a knut. A witch offered one with a concerned expression, but James denied it and threw one of his own on the counter. He took it to the back of the room and looked out the window. Where he and Sirius would usually check out the girls, whistling, knocking on the window after them, now he blankly stared.

[Lily Evans]

Lily Ann Evans was fed up of life. She was fed up of being told what to do and who to be. Her parents, her teachers and her friends. All of them were saying that she had to be someone she just wasn't anymore. Everyone knew how Lily was senisble and sweet and how she'd never get into trouble. But on the inside Lily knew that something was worng. She was feeling stressed and her work was suffering. She kept on reminding herself that all she had to do was get through her N.E.W.T.S and she'd be home free. The only problem was she didn't know want she wanted to do after all that had finshed. Of course her parents had ideas for her, and all her teachers, but none of them seemed like something Lily could see herself doing.

She walked past a daily prothet stand without really paying attention to it, but something caught her eye. She back tracked and brought a copy of the paper. She read the headline. She dropped the paper and started to run. She had to find James.

She looked for him everywhere. She had never spent a hogsmeade visit with him so she had no idea where he hung out. Every time she had come here she had gone shopping with Emme and Alice. Always tring to avoid Potthead. However today she figured he probably needed someone to talk to. Of course he had Remus. He was the only one of those four nitwits Lily figured anyone could talk to about serious stuff, but Lily was worried that maybe he was by himself.

Lily stopped in her tracks. Why the F*** should I care? She thought to herself. It's not like he cares about anything other than himself, why should I worry about him?. She was just about to turn back to see if she could catch up with Emme and Alice when another thought stuck her head. Of course you bloody care Evans. You've cared more and more recently, ever since you became head girl. She sighed. It was true.

The Three Bromsticks Of course! That was where she'd go if she wanted to be alone. Ok, maybe she wouldn't, but Potter sure would! It seemed so perfect. She walked in towards the counter, she ordered herself a butter beer then asked the landlady if she had seen James. She nodded and pointed to a small table at the back of the pub. Lily smiled and walked towards it.

"Hi." She said quietly.

[James Potter]

God, how she did it was beyond him. Even in his deepest despair, she was beautiful and his heart lurched. How did she possibly walk so gracefully, or smell so wonderfully? James' nostrils instantly picked up her scent, the scent that he'd only noticed this year. And some how she was prettier this year, not to say that she wasn't before, but some how more beautiful. He wasn't making sense to himself. Lily Evans had always been a wonder to him, but then he realized who it was. For a moment, he contemplated if she'd heard, and for the next moment, he contemplated if she cared. And then she spoke, causing his insides to flutter (James Potter, flutter? *shiver*). Before answering, he downed some butterbeer.

"Hey," His throat was drier than he'd thought. James knew how he looked, he knew he looked sick. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair on edge, and his skin some how paler than it was two days ago. He was surprised to see Evans actually alone, in fact, he was surrpsed that she approached him without Head duties. Maybe that's what it was about. Maybe he was such a danger to mankind that his badge was being taken away. "How're you, Evans?" He questioned, calmer than he'd thought. "Haven't seen you in a while." That was because he'd been avoiding people. He was scared that they'd see him weak, and he hated that. James avoided her eyes and pretended to find an interest in his butterbeer.

[Lily Evans]

He was truely a mess. The Old Lily would have loved this. She would have found this so funny, but the thing was that the real Lily hated to see anyone upset. Even a jackass wanabe like James Potter. She smiled sweetly and sat down opposite him and took a sip of her own butterbeer. What the heck was she doing? She felt sorry for him that was all. SORRY? Crist Lily you're more stupid than I thought, you're not sorry for him, you actually care about him and don't try to deny it! It was true. The more she thought about him, the more he started to make her feel... well... special. She loved the way he could make her happier by just being there. She used to think that that feeling she got everytime she was near him was complete and utter sickness, but she suddenly realised that it was something else. Something scarier.

"How're you, Evans? Haven't seen you in a while."

She suddenly couldn't speak. It was as though someone had ripped out her tounge. "I'm good....." was all she was able to manage. She took another sip of her beer. She was here to comfort him, not to feel like Jelly. What the hell is wrong with you Evans? He's going throw hell, Throw him a bone.

"I heard about what happened. I'm sorry, it must be hard for you, do they know who did it?"

[James Potter]

About to swallow, he choked on the butterbeer when Lily spoke about his father. No, they didn't know who killed him. Even if they did, they wouldn't tell them. James sniffed stalely, talking about the virulent death once again. He hated people feeling sorry for him. He hated being pitied when he didn't really deserve it. Why had Dumbledore nominated him as Head Boy? Why had he made such a fool out of those Slytherin Death Eater gits? It didn't matter now. It was done, it was over, and the only thing he could do was look toward the future. He knew that his path was set in front of him, but this was his last year at Hogwarts. He wanted to make it worth remembering, it was his last year of freedom. It was the last year that he'd be able to breathe and have garunteed saftey.

As much as he didn't want his mother to be hurt, James didn't want to go home. He didn't even want to be at Hogwarts, he didn't want to be anywhere that people might tell him how sorry they were. She meant well, but that was probably her only reason for talking to him. Otherwise, she'd do what she did best; steer clear of him. Maybe her intentions were genuine, what would he know? James didn't really look her over much to know. He didn't want to talk about his father. "They say he died of natural causes," He replied, with every ounce of skeptisism. James didn't want to reveal his own theories, not there anyway.

James ran a hand through his hair, again. His hazel eyes were tired with lack of sleep for a couple days. He considered telling Lily about his plans, about the Order and about becoming an Auror. She'd be impressed. But he didn't need that, and plus, one never knew who was watching. He resented how serious he'd become all the sudden, and vowed to try to be like himself once the grief was gone. "I'm alright, though, don't feel sorry for me. I feel sorry the most for my mum." His throat was dry.

[Lily Evans]

"If you think I'm sorry for you you are gravely mistaken James." Lily looked at him sourly. Maybe this was a mistake, she was probably just making it worse she shook her head. "No, I was just worried about you. I mean you've had a really hard day, look at you. You look like you haven't slept in months. This could kill you." She smiled sweetly. A smiled that was so Lily that no one else could even try to smile like that. She knew that James didn't need an enemy right now, he needed a friend. Lily was just that. She definately wasn't interested in anything more, but she felt like she owed him something. He was sweet to her and he always took her crap. She was willing to give him a second chance. If he would give her one.

She smiled, silentlt asking him with her eyes to just be civilised and to be friends. "I think you're so brave to be putting up with all this and staying strong. If it had happened to me I think... well, I don't think I would have survived." She looked down at her lap. She Was being so sincere it almost hurt.

"Besides, I know that wherever your Dad is, or however he died, he's looking at you right now and thinking, Yes, he's going to be fine, He's probably really pround of you James and so's your mother. Even if she is struggling to cope with this, she won't be soon. Soon she'll be happy agian. You never know, you might be to one day."

[James Potter]

James blinked. Where ever his father was? He was at home, of course. He had to be at home. With his mum, they were waiting for him to write back. Spit was supposed to be swallowed, but instead, air was swallowed. His lungs hurt, and he felt his eyes heating up but he couldn't cry. James had to keep his cool in front of Lily, hell, in front of anyone. What the hell was wrong with him? He should take it like a man. And so he blinked again, harder, and waited before speaking. Lily was being blunt and though her intentions were good, her words hurt. Hell, they killed. And for the first time, his red eyes looked up to meet her emeralds. She called him "Potthead." Damn, he really looked the part.

Why she cared was beyond him. Why did she care if he was happy? What she wouldn't know was that his happiness was sitting in front of him. With the one exchange of eyes, he felt a warmth inside and quickly looked away, cheeks reddening. First he was on the verge of tears, now he was almost blushing. Lily could be telling James to suck it up and be a man, she could be telling him how much he deserved all this, and he would still think she was the most beautiful woman of all time. "Proud of me.." He 'ha'd' and looked to the table, playing with the handle of his butterbeer. "Listen, Lily.." He choked, surprised that words were even found from the tangle in his throat. "You shouldn't see me like this..I mean..all..." Vulnerable. "Upset and stuff.." God he hoped she wouldn't leave. James knew that she felt it, too. When he looked into her eyes, she had to feel it. Don't leave. His thoughts silently pleaded.

[Lily Evans]

Lily noticed the hurt in James' Face. She felt her own eyes welling up. Maybe she had said the wrong thing? She had always thought that syaing the right thing was her forte. That she always knew what to say when to say it. She shook her head. She couldn't take this. She was really starting to feel something for the jackass, something more than annoyance, heck even friendship. Why couldn't he see that she was just trying to be his friend? She smiled at him again, trying to break through the tears that were dripping down her face. She realised that she hadnever meet Mr Potter, but she felt like she had lost him too. She felt somehow connected to Potter's Loss.

She tried to pull herself together. This wasn't good. He couldn't see her crying like this. If he saw her like this he might think she actually liked him. Well, she did but she did not want to let him know. She tried to pull herself together. She tried smiling again, but found that just started to hurt.

"Listen, Lily.. You shouldn't see me like this..I mean..all...Upset and stuff.."

Did he want her to go? Really? Lily found that quite unbelivable. Maybe she was just making it worse. Alice and Emme had always told her she was good at the comforting thing, maybe though because she was starting to really care for James it was becoming impossible for her to think straight. The knot in her stomach tightened. Maybe she should go find Sirius. He'd probably be a better help then her. He was a meathead, but he still was James' best friend.

"Maybe I should...." She sort of half-stood up and pointed towards the door.

[James Potter]

James screwed up because Lily wanted to leave. He shook his head, and noted that she had those awful tears in her eyes. Damnit. Without thinking, his arm extended and hand touched hers in an attempted act of comfort. He didn't want her to leave, but now she'd probably smack him and leave at that. "Don't go," He breathed, feeling increasingly nervous. When she'd smack him and storm away, he would blame his rash act on his sadness, of course. But it wasn't as if he'd planned it, he didn't ask her to feel sorry for him. He could already see, though, Lily's wheels spinning and her telling all her friends that 'Potthead tried to get in my pants,' and blah blah blah. "I'm sorry..I just--" James didn't know what to say, and so, pulled his hand slowly away as if expecting some sort of punishment.

(Multi-tasking + lack of creativity = short post)

[Lily Evans]

"Don't Go..."

James Potthead was showing some emotion? He was actually letting Lily see behind the mask of charm, witt and good-looks? Lily looked at him stunned. Her own tears pouring helplessly down her face. She couldn't quite believe he was showing her something other than disregard. She smiled at him through the tears and sat back down. This really didn't help the case that she was starting to feel something for him.

She looked up at the brown eyes in the head of one of the most handsome guys in school. Eyes which were only looking at her, and something inside of her melted. He was finally telling her the truth. Finally opening up to her, showing her the real James. She was stunned. She wanted to go and cry somewhere quietly for a bit, but she didn't knwo where so instead she sat where she was.

"No, don't apoligise. I won't go anywhere." She sais this under her breathe, which she was steadily trying to get back. She couldn't quite believe that he wanted her to stay. She tried to fight back the tears.

(No worries, mines pretty lame too!)

[James Potter]

Oh man, don't cry. What was he supposed to do? Usually, he'd jump at the opportunity to comfort a girl crying, but there were two problems. He was too full of grief, and it was Lily. She would inevitably leave him with a black eye if he pulled any stunts. James, himself, had to contain the tears as he saw Lily close enough to cry. As gently as he could, he stroked her warm hand with his thumb. Something inside of him jumped. "Don't, it's ok, he's in a better place. . ." He cooed, not so convinced himself. James was surprised that Lily gave a damn about his father enough to cry, but then again, she was the nicest person he'd ever met. What had he done to deserve her sitting in the same booth with him?

Ah shit! By now in the conversation, James was usually rejected and retreating like a wounded puppy, tail between his legs. But this time was different. She hadn't left him in his despair, and he certainly couldn't sit there and cry anymore. He had to be strong for her. "C'mon, Lils. ." James tried lamely. With all attempts failed, he took his arm and softly wrapped it around her shoulder. Instead of pulling her in, he waited to see what she would do, if she'd go for it. He wasn't making a move, just trying to get rid of her tears. In fact, getting her in bed was the last thing on his mind. No, the last thing on his mind was Sirius in a leopard print-speedo. Er..anyway, James almost winced in thinking the magnitude of the slap she was about to bring, bracing himself for the sting.

[Lily Evans]

Lily felt his arm around her shoulder and looked at it. It was odd. She didn't feel disgusted by him or like she wanted to throw him off her. She was just happy. She felt comforted. She lent back into his chest and listening to his heart beat.

It was funny, because she used to look at him in disgust everytime he entered the room, now her heart did this little flip-flop when he so much as looked at her. She was generally sad that his father had died and she could see that he knew she meant it. She hoped he knew. Still sobbing she looked up at his face and forced an encouraging smile.

When she looked up however she noticed he had tensed his cheek muscle. He was expecting a slap! Lily couldn't help but laugh. Such an impression the firey red-head had made to the guy known to fear nothing! She lent up and instead of slapping him, placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Thanks Potter," She said, "I don't know what went wrong, I mean I was supposed to be comforting you!" She smiled, still half-crying.

[haoliyou080]

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